A Future Unwritten, A Past Laid to Rest
by Angry Warrior
Summary: This story takes place during 11x02. The first part is my take on what Ziva and Tony were thinking. The rest will be AU. Enjoy! AW
1. Chapter 1

A Future Unwritten, A Past Laid to Rest  
PART I

By: AW

Note: This happens during and after episode 11x02: Past Present and Future, and assumes everything there after didn't happen. So guess its AU. This is what I had hoped would happen in the series but didn't.

Tony disembarked from the plane. Here he was in Israel. He sighed and stared at the landscape around him as he watched Mossad soldiers walk his way. "Agent DiNozzo, if you'll come with us, please?"

He stared at the men in front of him. He tilted his head. Used his sarcasm and his wit; it had kept him safe for a long time. "You guys selling timeshares?"

The men stared at the American in front of them and stated who they were. "Mossad. Enter the vehicle. We have information. It will be worth your while."

He looked at the men in front of him, unsure but knowing it was the only way he might find Ziva. The woman he loved and the woman he had to find. For all Ziva's rough edges and tough exteriors, it was the woman inside whom he had fallen in love with.

The woman inside that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

The woman inside that he wanted to one day make his wife and - god willing - the mother of his children.

He needed to find her.

He sat in the back of the car, wondering where they were taking him but having a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly where.

He sighed and watched the car drive up to the large, ornately decorated Mossad Headquarters. "Agent DiNozzo, this way please."

They led him up the stairs to the top of the stairs which decorated the extravagantly decorated building. He watched Director Elbaz approach him. "Agent DiNozzo. Welcome back to Israel."

Unsure of how trustworthy she was, or why she really wanted to find Ziva. He knew it wasn't for the same reasons as him; but she wanted to find Ziva. "Thank you director."

He saw Adam approach them from the back. "Hello Tony."

Tony just about sneered at Adam. "Adam. You make the big move from Shin Bet to Mossad, or you just here to say hi?"

Adam stared back at him, Tony could feel the testosterone in the room. "You know why I'm here."

"Do I?"

The new Director of the Mossad looked at Tony. "Rest assured, Agent DiNozzo, we are all focused on one objective."

Tony glared at Adam then turned to the Director. "What's that?"

"Find Ziva David."

Tony shook his head. This was possibly his only chance to ever find her again. It was true, she was trained to disappear; and here he was stopping her from doing just that.

But she wanted him here; she had invited him. He sighed and went back to paying attention to the Director. She turned to him, "These windows were installed at the request of my predecessor. He believed that with light comes clarity."

He wanted to get down to finding Ziva, "If you'll excuse me, Director, as much as I enjoy abstract David family talk, why don't you tell me what you know?"

"When was your last communication with Ziva?"

"She's not Mossad; not anymore. Why are you looking for her?"

"The same reason you are."

Tony glared at her. There was no way she was looking for Ziva for the same reason that he was. There was no way she cared for Ziva in the same way that he did. No way she loved Ziva the same way that he did.

Ziva was his future. "I doubt that."

She stared at the broken and lost man, and paused. "All right, I will give you that. Eli would have wanted me to make sure she is safe."

Adam approached and put his two cents worth in, "Shin Bet identified the three men that were found dead at the David safe house. Common criminals, no political affiliation."

The more he heard, the more Tony worried; but he would find her. He looked over to his Mossad counterparts. "Hired guns."

And there was the kicker. They were trying to get NCIS out of the way. Elbaz began, "Presumably bought by the same people who tried to kill you and Agent Gibbs. Do not tie my hands with your mistrust. When was your last communication with Ziva?"

Tony stared at Elbaz and decided he had nothing left to lose. He pulled up the picture of Ziva and Ari on his phone and showed it to her. "Two nights ago. She sent this."

Elbaz stares at the picture, "Poor, misguided Ari."

Tony was getting somewhat flustered at her seeming nonchalance. "No message; nothing since."

"And you are worried that she is dead."

Adam walked up to Tony something clutched in his hand. "Tony, this is a kibbutz where Ziva and her siblings went as children. Yesterday, a teacher there saw a woman matching Ziva's description walking the grounds."

Elbaz continued, "The woman buried that in one of the gardens, and then she fled."

Tony stared mesmerized at the paper before beginning to read in a voice akin to admiration. "'I will ride a horse, visit America.' She wrote this as a kid?"

"Both sets of handwriting are Ziva's, yes. But based on the ink saturation, the X and the last item were added fairly recently."

Finally Tony stared at the last words that were written recently. He said them out loud. "'Stop this for him' What does that mean? Stop what?"

Elbaz stared at Tony, "That is what concerns us."

Tony was completely flabbergasted by the fact that Ziva had been so close; yet she had been so far. What was she doing visiting these places that had once held such meaning for her. He was sure that he held meaning for her, he had been invited to come and visit her.

He felt Adam steer him towards an apartment building. "So, what are we doing here?"

"The director said that we…"

Tony was angry. They were checking out places that were supposed hideouts for the David Family, yet where was Ziva? He turned to stare at Adam, "Yeah, the director said to check it out. Listen, she's been shuffling me around since I got off the plane. Does that sound like trustworthy behavior to you?"

Adam was quiet as he pointed at an apartment. "That's the apartment where Ziva grew up. She brought me here once, to show me."

Tony's demeanor softened, "Listen… when I asked you to look for her… Thank you."

Suddenly a woman passes him in the hall. Tony watches mesmerized as the image of a young Ziva walks down the hall. It can't be; but in his mind it is. He is wakened from his dreamscape by Adam's voice. "This is it."

Adam slowly opens the door and Tony follows him. Unsure if he is going to find what he wants to find or needs to find Tony calls out. "Hello? Anybody home?"

Time goes almost I slow motion as Tony watches a woman come out of nowhere speaking in an Israeli tongue and swinging a hammer. Tony realizes how many times over the year both he and Ziva have cheated death.

This time he is by himself, he does not have the company of his little ninja and he wonders if the end will come. Then he pulls himself out of it; he had to; to save Ziva. To save his future and hers; he looks up and hears Adam tell the frightened woman in her tongue who they were.

He is pulled out of his thoughts by the English voice of the woman questioning, "Government Agents?"

He realizes this could be his chance to try and find her. "Can you put the hammer down please"

The woman all of a sudden realizes who they are and slowly let her grip on the hammer loosen; "I'm sorry. I-I... I was carrying groceries. I must have forgotten to close the door."

Tony stared at the woman knowing who she was but needing confirmation none-the-less.

Adam asked the question Tony was thinking. "Are you Dr. Deena Bashan?"

The woman stared at the men invading her house, "What is this about?"

Tony turned to her. "Ziva David. You know her?"

Dr. Bashan confirmed is suspicions. "I have known her my whole life. We grew up in this building together. Is she okay?"

Tony stared at her, "Why don't you tell us. We can't find her."

Tony watched as Dr. Bashan got the stuff ready to make some tea. There was something about her that wasn't right; wasn't truthful. He sighed and watched the Doctor get the tea ready. Something so simple, yet something that reminded him so much of Ziva.

For all the years she had lived in the states she still preferred tea to coffee. His thoughts were interrupted by Bashan's voice, "I inherited this place from my parents. The Davids lived across the hall. I was older than Ziva, but I looked up to her. Even then, she was a force. Determined, inquisitive, stubborn as a mule." Tony laughed to himself, "Sounds about right."

Bashan looked up at him. Despite the fact that she seemed truthful he just knew there was something that she wasn't telling them. "Forgive me, Agent DiNozzo. I'm babbling, and you have questions. Please."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

Bashan looked somewhat guarded when she answered the question. "It was, uh, months ago. At her father's funeral."

Tony nodded; accepting her response but not totally believing it. As an NCIS agent you learned mistrust. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Bashan.

She looked at it confused, "Where did you get this?"

Adam spoke up reminding them that he was there as well. "You have seen it before?"

Bashan smiled and nodded as an innocence flitted across her face. "I had one, too. This was, uh, Ziva's. We were so young, we were just learning English. We called them our "wills" Our teacher said that if we buried our wishes in the ground and thought about them every night, they would become truth. Why is it crossed out?"

Adam shook his head unsure. "We do not know."

"Stop this for him."

Tony stared at Doctor Bashan, hoping she knew what it meant. Hoping that she knew Ziva's inner demons as well as he prayed she did.

Desperation lacing his words he spoke, "Do you know what it means?"

Tony stared at Bashan waiting for an answer. The answer that he got was not what he was looking for, and it was in some ways just a platitude. "I know that her work is dangerous. Please, just tell me."

Adam basically stopped the conversation. Ignoring Tony's need to know where Ziva was. "We are doing all that we can to make sure she is safe. Thank you for the tea, Doctor."

Bashan had obviously not expected such a quick turn-around in the conversation and looked at Tony. DiNozzo00 just stared at her. "Um… you all right?"

Dr. Bashan nodded imperceptibly. "Yes. It's just uh… she mentioned you at the funeral. I could see what she felt. 'Stop this for him.' Perhaps the 'him' is you."

Tony did the only thing he could think of doing at this time. He needed to find Ziva and maybe NCIS could help. He stared at his computer and hesitated.

They knew how he and Ziva felt about each other. After eight years they had to. He opened the computer and pushed the button to get him instant access. McGee was waiting. He had sent the letter earlier.

He pulled back from the laptop and made a decision. He was going to do this from Mossad headquarters. He was guaranteed a secure chat from there.

Finally after speaking to Elbaz and getting himself ready he turned on the device to communicate with McGee. Tim was waiting for the call. They would find Ziva. "'I will be a ballerina.' Don't get it. This is Ziva. Shouldn't it say 'ninja' or something?"

Tony smiled to himself. There was another side to Ziva. There was a side that he was just beginning to learn about and that made him smile. "Apparently there was a pre-ferocious phase."

"Huh. So how's this list about you?"

Tony shook his head, unsure for the first time in a while. "I don't know if it is. It's a long story. I…"

Tim stared at Tony. "Why are you whispering?"

Tony glared at Tim, "Because I'm in Mossad headquarters."

"So you're working together, but you're whispering because…"

Tony looked at Tim as if he had grown two heads, "I don't know. It's Mossad. It just felt right."

Tim stared at Tony. There were times when that man surprised him. There was something going on between him and Ziva. It had been years that they had been working together, and something had developed despite Gibbs; despite rule 12.

He had to change the subject. "Well, I got to say, access to their resources will be a huge help."

"Yeah, but who knows how long that's gonna last. I need an angle. What's my angle? Give me an angle, McGee."

He paused and stared at Tony. This was something good. "We got a trace on the last text Ziva sent you."

Tony's demeanor changed. He looked like he had hope. "Ooh. That's good. Ari picture. Where was she?"

"Connected to a WiFi at an Internet cafe in the center of Tel Aviv."

"You got an address?"

"Check your inbox."

And the old Tony appeared if only for a minute. Tim knew that if they didn't get Ziva back, he would never be back to the man they had grown to know and love. "Well, hey. Look at that. McLoving you long-distance."

Tony had hope for the first time in months. He walked into the Mossad building. Elbaz wanted to see him, maybe she had good news.

Maybe they were going to find Ziva.

He had to find Ziva.

When Tony walked into the building, the director had already made the first moves to find Ziva.

But this wasn't right. "There's no way Ziva spends all day at some Internet cafe. Go back to the time she sent the text, check again."

She looked to Tony, "Any luck?"

He shook his head, "We're gonna have to make our own."

Elbaz just stared at Tony waiting for him to elaborate. Waiting for the broken man to make his move.  
"Would you care to elaborate?"

"I'm heading to the cafe to see if anybody remembers her coming in."

"Tell the driver Shamayim Hospital. It will be easier. The cafe is across the street."

Tony all of a sudden got an idea. Ziva had been beaten up, what if she was getting checked out in the hospital when she had contacted him. "From the hospital?"

"Yes. Why?"

And there was the piece of the puzzle that Tony needed to get Ziva back. He had to get to the hospital and get Ziva back; and give Dr. Bashan a piece of his mind.

[HOSPITAL - TEL AVIV]

Tony went rushing into the hospital. He had hoped that Ziva hadn't been hurt so badly that she had needed to see a doctor.

He needed to know she was ok.

He sped up to Dr. Bashan, "You lied to me."

She stared at him cold hatred in her eyes. "Agent DiNozzo. What are you doing here?"

He cut her off abruptly the anger coming out in his voice. "You said you hagn't seen Ziva in months –"

Doctor Bashan turned to walk away from him ignoring the accusatory tone. Tony grabbed her elbow. "Hey! You think you're protecting her?" He pointed to himself, "I'm on her side."

"I know that."

"Then why did you lie to me."

The broken woman stared at Tony. He stared at her and he understood that in many ways she was as broken as he was.

She drew in a deep breath, "She came to me after she had been attacked. I stitched up the wound in her leg and took her to my home so that she could rest. But then, uh..."

"Then what?"

Dr. Bashan had tears glassing over her eyes as she spoke and Tony knew this was the truth. "I thought I could save both of us the heartache by keeping quiet, but then she started to talk of old times. Of Ari. She did not know that when she went off to save the world, I was here, falling in love with her brother. He was going to propose to me when she killed him."

Tony stared at her, his mouth hanging open and sympathy oozing from him. "And you told her that."

"Yes. And she tried to explain it away. She said that he was hurting good people. But Ari was also hurt. His father had broken him. Still... I saw the smiling boy from across the hall. The good boy. Ziva begged me to forgive her. I could not."

He paused looking at her, trying to get answers. "Where did she go?"

"I do not know."

"Don't lie to me."

"I didn't do anything wrong."

He stared at her. It was unacceptable to not get answers from her. He needed to find Ziva. He needed to save his little ninja.

He needed to let Ziva know that they belonged together. That he has loved her for a very long time and he needed her to know. "You knew she was in danger, and you lied to me. I asked you point blank."

Dr. Bashan's eyes filled with fire as she stated what he had known for a very long time and apparently what wasn't a secret. "And had any other agent come to the door, I would have said yes. Why should she have the man that she loves when she took mine from me?"

And at that moment the truth hung heavily in the air. What he knew as did everyone else came to light. "I'm gonna find her."

The words came, words he did not want to believe or hear, but words he knew may become the truth if he didn't find her.

"Ziva is gone, Agent DiNozzo. When she left me that night, she was not the same person."

Tony walked away; walked away from the last person who may have been able to help him find the love of his life.

He had thought he had known love before, but understanding Ziva had made him whole; had made his life complete, and he needed to fill that hole, to make him and her understand.

He silently followed Elbaz and stood alone in the hall of the Mossad headquarters. He sighed and watched at Elbaz approached him. He stared at her. "So that's it huh?"

He watched Elbaz purse her lips. "We believe that Ziva's absence is voluntary," she stared at him with a pitying look. "And so do you." She handed him a folder his last chance. He stared at her with the look of a child who was given a final chance. "Everything on known David family contacts." She nodded at him, "Good luck."

He shook his head and knew he had to find at least the necklace. If there was nothing else at least he'd have that. "Director… She left something at the safe house. Can you help me get it back?"

Before she turned to walk away she looked at him, "Check the file."

Tony stared at the necklace and picked it up staring at its beauty and thinking maybe this was the compass he needed to find her.

Maybe this was it.

He thought about everything he could do to find her. Think like Ziva, what's what he had to do.

He sighed; he was not giving up on her. He couldn't give up on her. He loved her.

He began his trek. He felt like he had this one last chance to find her; he was going to find her.

There was no choice. He had to anticipate her moves. The whole time they had been at NCIS together; for seven years that's what he had done; and today he would have to continue.

He pulled out the file and looked at it.

Ziva's family seemed to have safe houses everywhere. All he had to do was anticipate her next move. It couldn't be that hard.

[NCIS – MTAC]

Gibbs had to know where Tony was and hopefully he had found Ziva and brought her home with him. He turned to McGee, "Where is he?"

Tim shook his head, "Tried him twice, boss. He's not picking up."

Gibbs shook his head almost yelling, "Try him again."

Finally the call went through, Gibbs watchrd Tony answer. His face appeared on the screen, "Uh, yeah, I'm here. Hey boss."

Tim stared at the image of a disheveled Tony. "Oh, that beard's getting pretty serious. When was the last time you shaved – Cairo?"

Gibbs watched Tony glance to his left and then back at the agents. "I guess so. I… meant to do that this morning."

He knew Tony was very distracted. Had he indeed found Ziva?

Was he bringing her back? He stared at Tony, "Hey, this a bad time for you, DiNozzo?"

"No, boss. It's good. I'm ready."

Gibbs stared at his agent. "You still in Yemen?"

"Israel. Circled back to Tel Aviv. Just got to Be'er Sheva. One of Ziva's contacts, uh, Nava Adi, told me that, uh, she saw her last week." He paused and once again stared to his left. "I'm getting close. I can feel it."

"You said that two months ago."

Tony stared at the MTAC room once more. "So, what about you guys? My sniper friend pop his head up?"

Tim answered, "Coldwell. Nope. Still off the radar."

"Old man Walters?"

"Hanging in there; no excitement since the explosion. Although Fornell keeps talking about how he would have been a goner if Mendez hadn't taken that call. As far as Parsa goes..."

Gibbs was frustrated, "Enough. Unless he booked his flight home, an update's wasted on him."

Tony looked at Gibbs, this was a question for him. "You want me to give up on Ziva?"

"I didn't say that."

"Are you giving up on her?"

"I didn't say that, either."

McGee interrupted the conversation between the two. "Boss, maybe you could try saying what you're saying."

Gibbs sighed, "If Ziva doesn't want to be found, you aren't going to find her. I'm saying you should respect that."

Tony took one more look to the left. He was nervous, he hoped Gibbs didn't suspect. "I do. I just… I need to go off the grid for a few days, follow this lead. I just need a little more time."

"You do what you have to do."

Tony watched as Gibbs makes a motion at McGee to cut the transmission. As soon as the transmission cut he turned to his left and stared at Ziva. "You know how hard that was?"

Ziva stared at him, trying to make him understand. "Gibbs was wrong. I did not want you to find me and yet, you did."

His burning gaze looked into ZIva, "I should have told him."

As Tony approached her, entering her personal space ZIva changed the subject, "You cannot beat down my door one minute, and expect me to face my old life again the next."

He stopped her in her tracks. "Hey! I had to take the call."

"You did not have to do any of this." She stared at him, "Why are you here?"

"Because you invited me."

Ziva looked sad, her demeanor changed in an instant. "That was before."

Tony stared at her, approaching her; silence filling the air between them. "Before what?"

She shook her head and turned to leave, "You should not have come."

[1 DAY LATER – ZIVA'S HOUSE]

He had slept the previous day and most of the night. It had been a long trip, and it still felt like nothing had been finished. Tony pulled the chain out of his pocket that Elbaz had given to him in the hopes that it would find its rightful owner.

He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to Ziva.

Her eyes brightened as she accepted the peace offering. "Old friend." She looked to him and there seemed to be more to that sentence then just speaking of the necklace. "Thank you."

He smiled at her and winked. "You asked how I found you." He wanted to say that he had followed his heart and hopefully his future. "For a long time, I was looking ahead. I kept telling myself, 'You know how she thinks. You know her. All you have to do is anticipate her next move.'" And there were so many things that he thought besides he had to find his partner and bring her back to NCIS. "And then one night, I had a dream. Everything was all lined up together. Your family's safe house, Ari's picture, you, your old friend Bashan. And when I woke up, I knew. You weren't looking ahead." There was a sadness as his voice tried to portray the fact that he was the future, not the past. "You were looking back." His face begged her to understand that she had to look forward. "I tracked you down to Amman, where your mother was killed. And then, your grandparents' graves in Meron. The opera house in Cairo where you took Tali. And finally, I found you here. Of course. The house where you were born."

Ziva stared at him. This man had done this all for her. They knew each other so well. "After my father died, returning to these places seemed… necessary. It started off as a good thing, but then I saw Deena Bashan, and …"

"This all can't be because of her."

"This can't all be because of her."

"No, it's not because of her. It's because of me."

Tony shook his head. She thought she was damaged goods. There was nothing for her here in Israel. She had no family left. They had all been destroyed. He had to make her see that she had to make a new life. A new future.

New memories.

"You had to kill Ari. One person loving him doesn't change that."

She looked at him a sadness in her eyes. "Yes, but I loved him. Just as I loved my father and my mother and Tali. How can I not think that for every man I killed, there is someone out there crying for him?"

He got closer to her approaching her personal space, "What about all the people that are crying for your absence in their lives?" He had to make her see that he wasn't sure he'd get through life without her. "It's part of the job. You gotta leave it at that."

She refused to accept it. "Deena blamed me."

He got closer and grabbed her shoulders. "If you hadn't killed Ari, Gibbs would be dead now, and so would so many other people." He paused, "I never thought I'd get over Kate; but then I met you, and I realized that Kate and every girl before and between us was nothing more than a step that led to you."

She wasn't listening and continued her tirade, "I thought that by going back to these places, I would someone erase all of that, but each stop just made it clearer. She was right. The center of all this pain is me."

"Ziva, this isn't you."

She looked at him and took her hand and placed it on his face, brushing the side and feeling the stubble that continued. "This is me, Tony. This is what I made of myself. But it's not who I wanted to be."

He hugged her his lips touching the top of her head, hoping to comfort her. "I know. I know. You wanted to be a ballerina. 'Stop this for him' Who? Ari? Eli? God?"

Ziva took the note from Tony's hand. "This was supposed to stay buried."

He wondered how much of what had been going on in the real world she knew. Not what had been going on in her personal hell. "Orli was looking for you, too."

Ziva was still caught in her own personal thoughts and world. "This little girl was strong. She could've walked away from her father's world." She looked at Tony begging him to understand. "Things would have been different."

She let the tears fall down her face as she saw what could have been her world had she not walked away from Tony, but rather had walked away from her father's world.

"It's never too late."

Tony ever the optimist. "Yes, it is."

He had to make her understand he was her future. "This is the house that you were born in. The universe is practically begging you to wipe the slate clean. I did notice that there's plenty of room on the back of this list... to start a new one. Maybe I could help you with that."

He was taken aback when all of a sudden her lips met his. Perhaps he had gotten through to her.

She pulled back and let her forehead rest against his. "Bashan was right about one thing though, I love you Tony."

Tony looked at her and smiled, "I know. Eight years Ziva. We've been doing this dance for eight years."

Ziva nodded. "I know Tony." She put her small hand in his and began pulling him towards a room that he had not yet seen.

When they got into the room he realized it was her bedroom.

She began slowly disrobing and the layers came off; and despite his best imagination the real image was better. "You are so beautiful Ziva."

"You're just saying that. This is the realization of a straw dream."

Tony chuckled, "Pipe dream Ziva."

He approached her and began pulling down the bra; her breathing quickened. "Are you sure Ziva?"

She looked down at the bulge in his pants that was becoming more and more noticeable. "I don't think that you would survive if we stopped now."

Tony looked down at his very undignified position. "I would survive if this isn't what you want."

"Shut up Tony." She pushed him back on the bed.

Slowly she pulled down her pants and was left in nothing but a pair of silky thong underwear and he had to wonder she'd planned this in the last day. "Well this is a nice surprise."

His hand went up to cup her breasts and he felt the weight that was not as large as some he'd had but it was real. "You are more perfect than I imagined."

Ziva let a smile grace her features and stared down at the contrast in color between her olive skin and his pale complexion.

Her hand wandered down to the hair that forced a line between his chest and his pant line. Slowly her hand undid the buckle on his jeans and he sucked in a breath when he felt her fingers continue their ministrations.

Before he knew it the two of them were in their naked glory and she was working her tiny hands up and down his shaft, getting him more than ready. "Ziva honey, I can't last if you keep doing that."

She smiled and got above him staring down and getting ready to impale herself on his large manhood.

He stared at the place of joining as the slow dream became a reality.

There was a hitch in her voice as she took him in completely. "Oh god." She heard him gasp.

She smiled down at him and began the up and down movement that would bring them both closer.

He felt himself getting close to the finish line as he heard her breathing quicken. "I can't last Ziva."

She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "Then let go. We have both been waiting too long for this release."

He felt himself explode inside her and realized for the first time what it was to 'make love' and not simply 'have sex'.

Once their breathing had returned to normal he smiled, "That was wonderful Zi."

She had tears tumbling down her cheeks. "I never thought it would be like that Tony."

He shook his head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Tony I have many times before had sex but it has never felt like that."

He got a cocky look on his face, "Well I knew I was good but…"

"Tony it is not funny."

He pulled her close again and kissed her lips. "I'm sorry I wasn't making fun of you."

The kiss began to heat up again and he pulled back. "You want to go again?"

Ziva didn't even have to answer as her lips touched his more private parts. His breathing began to speed up as he pulled her up so her face was at the same level as his.

He flipped her over. This time it was his turn to be on top.

She took in a surprised breath as he towered over her. He slowly entered her for the second time that day.

It felt so right and he knew what others had been talking about when they said that they saw the love that was flourishing between them.

They had been a couple for years without the sexual component.

Neither could manage to keep a relationship online when they were together.

Others had known what was inevitable before them.

They finished for the second time that day and fell into a sated sleep.

The next morning Tony woke up and looked to the bed beside him; already missing her.

Ziva slowly approached him coffee and pastries in her hands. "I have to stay here Tony. I have to fix myself before I even think about fixing us."

Tony shook his head. "We can fix you and us together."

Ziva shook her head. "I need to do this first."

He realized that there was no convincing her otherwise. "I have to go back to the states."

Ziva nodded, "I know, but remember; I love you always."

[AIRPORT - TEL AVIV]

They walked together towards the plane that was going to separate them quite possibly forever. He wasn't sure he could leave her but he knew he had to. "There's still time for you to change your mind." He watched her shake her head and he knew her mind was made up. "What am I gonna tell people?"

"That you were right. I have to start over."

He almost laughed at that. For once in his life he wasn't happy about being right. "Okay, you and I both know that's not gonna be enough for Abby."

"Tell her that I am… honoring Gibbs."

Tony was confused, "Gibbs?"

She smiled, "'Stop this for him.'"

"Of course. Gibbs."

She smiled but there was a sad undertone to her being. "I want to make him proud. He taught me to follow my heart, and I know that I have to... I have to do this... alone. I have to let go of everything, or I will be... pulled back to where I started. Tell Abby that for me. She'll understand."

"I will." He stared at her once more. "So, what about Gibbs? You gonna call him?"

She drew in a deep breath, "I don't know."

"You gotta call the guy."

"I don't know if I can."

He laughed and stared into her eyes; the orbs to her soul. "Oh, it'll be fine. You know how he is on the phone- functional mute. You'll hardly know he's there. He's a good listener."

She drew her hands up to touch the face that was now clean shaven as she had always known him and as she wanted to remember him. "Tony... you are so..."

"Handsome? Funny? What?"

Ziva looked at him as if burning the image of him into her mind. "Loved."

They looked into each other's eyes and their lips slowly met, a 'goodbye'.

A remember me always.

A never forget what we had or what we hopefully will have.

Tony slowly turns to go towards the plane and turned back to look at Ziva, tears in her eyes. "Okay. This is not easy. Hardest 180 of my life."

He slowly took the stairs up to the plane and back to his old life.

As he's sitting on the plane he begins a list of his own starting with 'I will'. He reaches into his pocket where he's placing the pen and feels something in there. What he finds is Ziva's necklace. He smiles to himself and hopes that this is the beginning of something more.

[GIBBS HOME]

Gibbs opens a cold beer and places it against his face hoping to stop some of the pain from where he was beaten. The phone rings. He goes to pick it up. "Hey Ziver."

He heard her hesitation. "I'm still in Israel; but don't blame Tony he wanted me to come back to the states with him."

Gibbs laughed, "He searched for you for months Ziver. In his mind he had to find you to make sure you leaving wasn't his fault."

"I never wanted anyone to find me."

Gibbs chuckled. "He's a very good investigator Ziva. He needed to find you."

There was dead silence as they both stayed with the ears against the phone. "We needed closure."

"I know." He paused collecting his thoughts, "Good luck Ziva."

He hung up and put the phone beside him. Tony would be a mess for a while, but at least he had closure; at least he hoped he did.

END PART I

TBC in PART II


	2. Chapter 2

A Future Unwritten, A Past Laid to Rest  
PART II

By: AW

Note: This happens during and after episode 11x02: Past Present and Future, and assumes everything there after didn't happen. So guess its AU. This is what I had hoped would happen in the series but didn't.

Ziva stared at the plane as it took off. She hoped that she had made the right decision.

She hoped that he would wait for her while she got her life back together, she needed to have her life back together before she could help him make a life with her.

And he would.

She hoped he would wait.

She needed him to wait.

She sighed and said goodbye to that part of her life for now.

[12 weeks later – Washington D.C.]

Tony stood and stared at the large screen in MTAC. It had been almost two months since he had seen her. He needed to see his beautiful little ninja.

He was lost in thought as they all waited to see Ziva again. She had made some time at Mossad headquarters to see her other family for the first time in almost five months.

So much had happened to all of them.

Finally the screen came to life.

Abby screeched, "Ziva!"

Ziva smiled serenely. "Hello everyone."

"Ziver. How have you been?"

Ziva shook her head. "Could have been worse I suppose."

Tony stared at her shell shocked. "Ziva."

"Hi Tony."

She stared at him, "How have you been?"

Gibbs stared at the star-crossed lovers. Across the globe, not close enough to touch yet you could feel the electricity that they were making. "You coming home Ziver?"

She pursed her lips and stood up showing her changed profile.

Tony stared at the sight before him as he felt Gibbs hands hit the back of his head. "Hey boss what was that for?"

"Knocking up Ziva."

Tony rubbed his head. "Hey, might not even be mine!"

Gibbs hands contacted with Tony's head again. "Hey!"

"That was for leaving her all alone."

Tony stood up and approached the screen his hands approaching the image of Ziva and letting his hands approach the baby bump. "Is it mine?"

Ziva stared at him as if saying what do you think?

"You have to come back to the states Ziva."

She stared at him and he looked in her eyes. There was a complete trust and unspoken trust in the gaze. They were having a conversation without saying a word.

Gibbs interrupted the moment. "Ziva, you'll make a great mother."

Ziva looked down at her hands as if ignoring the statement and not believing it.

"Ziva you have to come home." Tony stated again.

Ziva stared at the group. "I have to go guys, I'll talk to you soon."

The screen went blank and Tony looked like a lost little boy.

Gibbs patted Tony on the shoulder. "Come on DiNozzo, we have work to do."

The group walked back into the bullpen but not a one of them wanted to acknowledge the white elephant in the room.

They had all had suspicions about what had gone on between Ziva and Tony on the trip but no one had said anything, no one dared.

The phone rang and Gibbs answered. "Yeah."

Tony watched Gibbs nod. "Tim what the hell?"

Gibbs grabbed his coat. "Dead Marine. McGee…"

Tony stared at the scene before him. "What about me boss?"

Gibbs laughed, "Yeah and you're not compromised at the moment right DiNozzo."

Tony stared at him. "I need to work Boss."

"Not today."

"But Boss –"

Gibbs turned towards him. "Go home DiNozzo. Figure out what you need to do. You're no good to me when you're this distracted."

"But Boss, I can't do anything about it now."

"You need to figure this out. I can't have you working so distracted." Gibbs turned and walked out of the Bull Pen with McGee in tow.

Tony went to leave NCIS when he made his way downstairs to the morgue. "Agent DiNozzo. What brings you down here?"

Tony stared at Ducky. "What am I going to do Ducky?"

Ducky snickered, "If you're referring to the little surprise you had in MTAC, I suppose you should get in contact with her in private. This is a surprise I assume."

"Surprise is not the word for it Duckman. I left her three months ago after begging her to come home with me –"

"And leaving something behind aside from Ziva I heard."

"Not fair Ducky. I didn't even think about it that night and apparently neither did she."

Ducky stared at Tony, "Anthony, if there is one thing in life that I have discovered: The best things in life are almost never planned."

"You telling me to go to Israel?"

Ducky smiled, "I'm telling you that you might need to figure your life out, obviously Ziva wants this or she wouldn't still be pregnant and she wouldn't have told you."

"So you're telling me to go to Israel."

"I'm not telling you anything. She's left the ball in your court Anthony. It's up to you. What do you want?"

Tony stared at Ducky. He sighed, "Tell Gibbs I had to go to Israel; I had to follow a lead."

Ducky smirked. "Okay Tony. I'll tell him."

Tony walked out; he had made his decision

[TONY'S APARTMENT – 15 MINUTES LATER]

Tony stared at the bag, full of what was needed for the next week. By that time he would have her coming with him. He sighed.

In the bag were some clothes for him, prenatal vitamins, and her necklace.

It was the final piece of their puzzle.

Tony left his apartment and locked up heading for the airport. He would make this right. He took out his cell phone to see if Ziva had attempted to make contact with him.

Not since letting the bombshell drop had she attempted to make contact with him.

[TEL AVIV – ZIVA'S HOUSE – 2 WEEKS LATER]

Ziva stared down at her stomach; he had left her with this gift. There was nothing left and obviously he hadn't given her a second thought after the revelation.

Nothing; she was going to be destined to love and raise this child by herself.

She sighed and placed a hand on her stomach. She was now 14 weeks pregnant and there was nothing. She had yet to feel the baby move; but the doctor said that the baby was fine. Just quiet and still so far.

If Tony had begged her to come back to the US with him at this point she probably would have.

She had nothing left for her here.

She heard the door open and footsteps approaching her. Her first instinct was to take a swipe at whoever was coming up behind her; then she remembered her current condition and took a step back from herself and sat down quickly and quietly trying to hide herself as much as possible hoping that no one would notice her.

Tony opened the door to Ziva's house; he saw the living area that had now been fashioned with a bassinette.

He looked around but Ziva was nowhere to be found.

He slowly walked into the bedroom and was hoping to see her there resting; but she was nowhere to be found.

He moved into the kitchen it appeared she had been cooking but at least Tony knew she was eating.

He filled the sink to begin doing the dishes. He could at least begin the clean the house for her so that when she got home, at least she's have a clean house to come home to.

He sighed and stared at the pictures which adorned the walls. Ziva, her mother, her father, and Tali. *Tali DiNozzo; maybe.*

He heard the footsteps behind him but he hadn't heard the door open.

Time went in slow motion as he turned around and saw Ziva approaching him. "Oh god, Tony."

Tony went towards her and hugged her, realizing just how much weight this baby had put on her. "Hi Zi."

Ziva smiled and felt the tears begin to run down her face. She brought her face up to Tony and let her lips approach his. The tender moment was disrupted by movement below.

Ziva sucked in her breath and stared at Tony, her eyes showing how much the baby meant to her as her hand approached her belly.

Tony stared at her as he put his hand on her belly. "Hello Tali."

Ziva stared at him. "What makes you think it's a girl Tony?"

He smiled, "Because I always wanted a girl."

Ziva let out a small laugh. I didn't think you'd come back for me.

He glanced into her very being. "I never thought I wouldn't."

END PART II


	3. Chapter 3

A Future Unwritten, A Past Laid to Rest  
PART III

By: AW

Note: This happens during and after episode 11x02: Past Present and Future, and assumes everything there after didn't happen. So guess its AU. This is what I had hoped would happen in the series but didn't.

They had been together in Tel Aviv for almost two weeks now. He stared at the woman he loved and watched her walk towards him, the baby belly really beginning to show.

She walked up to him and smiled. This was a softer side of Ziva he knew existed but had really yet to see until he came back and he realized that she needed him as much as he needed her.

He sighed and opened his arms as she approached. "How's our daughter doing?"

Ziva shook her head. "It could be a boy you know."

He stared at her wondering what she was hoping for. They had not talked of it; they had not talked of going back to the States either. "Ziva."

She looked at him questioningly. "You have to go see a proper doctor." She bowed her head. "Come back to the states with me."

Ziva looked down and stared at her belly. "I want to Tony. I really do; I need to but there is nothing for me in the States."

"There is nothing for you here."

They both stopped staring at each other. Tony brushed her hair from her face. "I'm in the States for you." He placed his hands on her belly. "The father of your child; the man who loves you."

She shook her head. "You do not love me Tony. You love the idea of a happy ending."

He stared at her, "Only if that happy ending includes you, and Tali."

She turned and walked away. "I'm tired Tony, I need to sleep."

"Ziva." He called as she walked out of his line of sight.

He had to find a way to make her see and believe that her future was him.

He had to make her believe it.

He had to make her see.

[3 HOURS LATER]

Tony had just finished the cleaning. He heard a muffled sound coming from the bedroom and walked in to see Ziva crying. Her tears were tumbling down covering her beautiful olive skin.

He walked up to her. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him through pain soaked eyes. "I wish my father was here. His death was so senseless."

He brought up his hand and wiped the tears from her eyes. "It's okay Ziva." He stared into her eyes, "Come back to America with me. All those years and that work you did to become an American citizen, it matters."

She stared at him. "I still have so much that has to be done here."

His hand approached her belly. "You have so much that has to be done in the states too."

She shook her head silently. "Maybe I deserve misery. Maybe I don't deserve to be happy."

He walked close to her and lifted her head up so she was looking in his eyes. "You deserve to be happy like anyone else."

Ziva stared at Tony. "You don't understand Tony. I am the center of all this hurt, and maybe that makes it not okay for me to be happy. Maybe that makes it not okay for me to enjoy life." She sat down on the bed as she placed a hand on her belly. "Maybe it makes it not okay for me to have children and a happy life."

Tony shook his head. He was not going to lose his life like this. "You can't give up like this." His gaze bore into hers. "I need you; Tali needs you."

She was crying. "I want to believe you Tony. There is nothing I want more than to believe you."

"Then believe me. Let yourself love and be loved. Come back to America with me."

She shook her head. "Deena was right. Why should I have all these things when I take them from others? I killed people Tony. How do I know that Tali won't grow up in constant fear that her father won't come home? That her mother won't be there for her?"

"That's why you have to come home to the states with me. We have to be there for Gibbs to walk you down the aisle."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Was that a proposal?"

"Aside from the fact that there's no ring present…" Tony felt in his pockets, "Oh wait here's one."

Ziva stared at the diamond in his hand. "Did you bring that with you from the States?"

"Yeah that sounds about right Ziva."

She shook her head looking at him. "You don't want to be tied to me forever Tony."

He laughed, "If I'm not, Gibbs won't forgive me."

Ziva wiped the tears from her eyes. "Neither will I Tony." It was at that moment that she made the decision. "Let's go home Tony."

Tony opened his arms and let her fall into them. He kissed the top of her head and picked up her hand slipping the finger on it. "I can't believe that you remembered my ring size."

"When Michael proposed to you, and you accepted: I was lost. It was the end. You belonged to another and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted you happy; but I wanted you happy with me, not with someone else."

Ziva remembered her time with Michael, the ending of their relationship and how Tony was always there no matter what. "You've always been here for me Tony."

"And I always will be Ziva if you'll let me."

He got closer to her as close as her belly would allow. Just then the baby kicked Tony in the gut. "It seems our little one agrees Ziva."

He crouched down on his knees so he could talk to her belly. "We're going to be the most perfect parents to you baby. You're going to have the perfect life with grandpa Gibbs, and uncle Timmy and auntie Abby."

Ziva let herself run her hands through Tony's hair. "Let's go back home Tony. I need to see my family. There is nothing for me here anymore."

Tony stood up and kissed Ziva their first kiss as a 'real couple' as an engage pair.

Life would be okay.

END PART III


End file.
